Murder of English: One English professor: When a girl dint does her assignment and gave an excuse: today you’re lying with me tomorrow you will lie with someone else.

A husband made a call to hospital to enquire about his pregnant wife, but accidentally the call went to a cricket stadium, he asked what the condition is. He died after what he heard 7 are already out, 3 more will be out hopefully by lunch the first one was a duck.

Hi i am from LKG "C" section i lost my "pencil which having a rubber " it cost Rs.3 i don't know you but if you forward this i will get 1paise if you have a heart please forward this please uncle.

The fastest means of communication- telephone, television, tell-a-women.

Nice to read and follow: if you miss a girl don’t fill your eyes with tears. It may hide yet another beautiful figure standing in front of you.

Why a buffalo does always enjoys dirty water? Why? Why? Anyway, that’s your personal matter.

Why fire engine red in color? Ans: fire engine has ladder. Ladder has steps. Steps are to be climbed on foot. Foot is to be measured by a ruler. Ruler can be a king or queen. Elizabeth is queen of England. Elizabeth is also the name of ship that sails on water. Water has fishes, it has fins, and the people of Finland are called fins. National flag of Finland is red. So fire engine is red in color. This is how we write exam answer in detail.

Once three turtles decided to go on a picnic: When they got there, they realize they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn’t eat the snacks until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, two turtle said: oh come on let’s eat the snacks, suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said: if you do like I won’t go.

I like three things: Pizza, Pepsi and you. Pizza to eat, Pepsi to drink and you to pay the bill.

Dad: if you pass in the exam, I will present you one cycle. Son: if I fail? Dad: I will present 10 cycles. Son: why? Dad: to open cycle shop.

Touch your heart you will feel the rhythm of you heart beat. Touch your head; you will feel the rhythm of tapping an empty pot.

A pessimist sees the glass half empty, an optimist sees it half full, and the realist, just add whisky and say cheers.

What is the difference between love marriage and arranged marriage? Love marriage is a perfect suicide, but arranges marriage is the planned.

Girls are like Ferrari cars, they are good to see and feel, Difficult to own and maintain.

Twinkle little bar, how I wonder what a bar, quarter rates are up so high, drink rum with chicken fry.

The most important thing in our life is sleeping because it is only way to escape our problem for few hours.

The birth history of a legend: a beautiful baby was born on earth cuckoo sang, peacock danced, tigers and lions got feared of his birth, angles blessed him and named. his hobbies: playing against dinosaur, swimming in tsunami, skating in volcano, catching bullets when someone shoot, running against plane, playing with lighting be proud to have this legend as your friend.

Today I met some one in coffee shop. Really good looking, smart, delightful, more like a celebrity. As I walked nearer damn it! Saint Gobain mirrors.

In a nursery school canteen, there was a basket of apples with a notice written over it, do not take more than one god is watching. A little further on the counter there was a box of chocolates, on which a child had written, take as many as you want. God is watching the apples.

Hi don’t msg me for 2weeks. I am going two studying for lkg class revision test. So don’t disturb me please- by seriously comedy group. (govt approved)